Dear Diary,

We just got back from Thanksgiving dinner and I saw Uncle Li and Aunt Cho after years. To be honest, I’ve been avoiding them a bit.

After getting laid off last year and going back to working retail, it’s been hard fielding their questions about when I’m going to get out of debt and how much I’m being paid. I know they’re worried about me and Maxine since Maya passed away and we have all the hospital bills to figure out, but it just makes me feel worse.

Last time they found out that I was behind on the payments and our cards were maxed out and they were determined to find me a better job during dinner. Discussing my job prospects in front of everyone – cousins, grandparents and even the dog just added insult to the injury.  

And it just opened an entire can of worms with Jeffrey offering to give me a loan, others sending me links to local payday lenders, and someone, I think it was Joan, asking me to list out my monthly expenses.

The worst was when someone told me to consider putting my car up as collateral for a loan at a 25% interest rate. I almost threw up.

It was too much. So I was really worried about today. Thankfully, the credit cards are all paid off and the hospital bills are under control again since my work started offering Earned Wage Access. When Aunt Cho asked me for an update, I told her how I took the last few months to take a portion of my paycheck to pay off some of the balance to start avoiding interest while also padding up our savings account to avoid any overdraft fees.

I think I saw her tear up a bit. She didn’t ask me anything after that.

– Zhang